If you’d asked me a few years ago what my relationship with sleep was like, I’d have laughed. Sleep? That thing you do in short, broken chunks between night feeds, bad dreams, early alarms and the endless mental to-do list? As a busy mum, sleep often feels like the first thing to be sacrificed and the last thing to be prioritised (for me anyway). There’s always one more lunch to prep, one more email to answer, one more load of washing to fold.
But here’s the thing I’ve learned the hard way: running on empty isn’t a badge of honour. And being permanently tired doesn’t make you a better mum; it just makes everything harder.
Why Sleep Matters More Than We Admit
When I’m fully rested (which, let’s be honest, isn’t every day), I’m a completely different person. I’m more patient when the kids argue over whose turn it is. I don’t snap when someone spills cereal five minutes after I’ve cleaned the kitchen. My brain works better, my mood is steadier, and I feel more like me, not just “mum”.
Good sleep supports almost every part of our health. It helps with memory and concentration, keeps our immune system strong, and plays a big role in managing stress. When we’re sleep-deprived, our bodies produce more stress hormones, which explains why everything feels so overwhelming after a bad night. There’s a reason they use sleep deprivation as a method of torture!
Long term, poor sleep has been linked to anxiety, low mood, weight gain, and burnout, which is something mums like me are already close to.
The Realities of Sleep as a Mum
Of course, knowing sleep is important doesn’t magically create more hours in the night. Children wake up. Life is noisy. And sometimes the only quiet time we get is late in the evening, which makes it tempting to stay up scrolling or watching “just one more episode”. I’ve learned that the goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Small changes can make a big difference.
Practical Tips for a Better Night’s Sleep
Here are some things that have genuinely helped me, even in the chaos of family life:
1.Create a wind-down routine (even a short one).
I used to go straight from tidying toys to bed, brain still buzzing. Now I try to spend at least 20 minutes doing something calming, such as reading, stretching, or having a warm shower. It signals to my body that it’s time to slow down.
2.Put the phone down earlier than you think.
This one’s hard. Blue light and endless scrolling are sleep killers. I try to leave my phone charging away from my bed or switch to a book instead. The difference in how quickly I fall asleep is noticeable.
3.Protect your bedtime like an appointment.
I wouldn’t cancel a dentist appointment every night, so why do it with sleep? Choosing a realistic bedtime and sticking to it most nights has helped me feel more in control.
4.Make the bedroom a sleep-friendly space.
Cool, dark and quiet works best. Blackout curtains, a comfortable pillow and comfortable mattress, and minimal clutter can make the room feel like a sanctuary rather than an extension of the day’s chaos.
5.Be kind to yourself after bad nights.
Some nights will be awful. From little ones teething, having nightmares, or waking up with sickness. Instead of beating myself up, I remind myself this is a season. An earlier night the next day or a short nap can help reset things.
The Benefits of Being Well Rested
When I get enough sleep, I’m a better mum, wife and human. I have more energy to play, more emotional resilience, and a clearer head for decision-making. I’m less reliant on caffeine and sugar just to get through the afternoon. And perhaps most importantly, I feel more present, less like I’m surviving the day, and more like I’m actually living it.
Good sleep isn’t selfish. It’s essential. And while it may never be perfect in this stage of life, it’s worth protecting as much as we can.